After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
