VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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