nutella sex= disaster
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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