He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This house was built for laser tag.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
