She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
