its not stalking. its research.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Less talking, more tequila
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
