Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
