Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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