your room smells of hookers.
And success
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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