is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
