I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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