Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Brb crying the tears of my youth
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
