those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
the liver wants what the liver wants
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
