I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize