it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
