so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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