my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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