her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
