The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
