I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
