Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
