help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
