Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
