Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
