ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
