i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
