left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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