i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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