I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
