Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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