Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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