ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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