i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
