So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
