Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
third nipple confirmed
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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