nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
