Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
