I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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