so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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