the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
