Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Farmville is her only friend.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
