Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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