Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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