I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
