That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
