do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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