well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize