Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
