Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
