the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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