spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
