just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
