so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We left an ass print on the piano.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
