saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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