So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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