Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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