It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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