i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
