My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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