Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
