We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
