I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
