Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
