Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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